Evil Gold Fish!

Yesterday started off great, I had my plan I was set to cleanse like a beast.  Ready to kiss another 10 lbs away, or at very least kiss away the vaca weight I had put on while enjoying food and friends.  But then 2 pm happened the baby was snacking on bananas and gold fish.  I ate one.... then two... then I ate the dark chocolate salted caramel I bought on my trip, then some sour straws, and before I knew it my cleanse was over and sabotaged. Dinner came and then why not a bowl of ice cream.  
             It was one of those days where once it happened it was going to happen fast and furious.  I had just the day before been mad at the way I looked in pictures but instead of using it as my motivation I sabotaged myself.  Pitied in my self defeat and

allowed the addiction to take control and run the day.  It's not the first time and it probably won't be the last that my natural week human self lets it take over but I am here to say I see it.  I recognize it I will fight it. It will not define who I am and it will not take over my life anymore.  I will try again and keep fighting. 

What Am I?

 I had a huge AH-HA moment about a week ago and have been trying to find a way to share with you that moment.  I was watching an episode of Dancing with the Stars with my daughters when one of the contestants said her coach Derek Hough said to stop being so negative and saying what you aren't and start saying what you are.  She said she started saying to herself and out loud I AM....... It got me thinking what am I?  I mean really what am I? What are you?  I bet if you made a list with what you are and what you are not you would have more negatives than positives.  I mean I can tell you what I am not!  I am not skinny, I am not athletic anymore, I am not healthy, I am not Brave, I am not Bold, I am not driven, I am not pretty, I am not I am not I am not.  Followed right behind by I cannot I cannot I cannot.
                  It's no wonder I have not succeeded with anything ever in my life.  I not only am my worst abuser I also don't believe what people tell me.  In the past month I have been called Beautiful, Kind, Generous, Bold, Brave, Driven, Honest, Positive, Genuine, Happy, One of a kind, Inspiring, Amazing, among many other positive things.  Let me tell you how many of those things I believed about myself.  Two, I above all try and be kind and honest in all things I do.

 The rest seemed like empty complements.  I mean of course my facebook profile looks beautiful I picked the best picture of me that was most flattering and that was after I spent plenty of time in front of the mirror to put my face on and curl the 100 lbs of hair I have, does that mean I always look beautiful, definitely not!  Most days I don't even do my hair. I decided Tuesday night to start saying to myself what I was the list was not very long but I tried.  Last Thursday I went to a friends house who is helping me on this journey, she called me many of those things listed above. THE entire time I sat thinking no I am not those things I have you fooled, I have everyone fooled I am not the person you all think I am.
                         I went home that night and thought some more about what I am.  It occurred to me in the back of my head if people keep saying these amazing things about you maybe just maybe they are true.  Could it be that you are all those things?  Why not, why not me, why can't I have everything I want and be everything I want.  And so it began, I said I am strong.... quitely in the back of my head. Was I strong? I had never shown strength before, I have always chosen the weaker path quit before the goal.  Not this time Jena not this time, you are stronger than the food, stronger than your head, and stronger than your body, you your spirit that God gave you is stronger than you could ever imagine, you are letting yourself be small when you were born to be big!  So today I AM STRONG, I AM BRAVE, I AM anything I want to be.  And so are you!  Take a step with me today and believe in you. 

Ups and downs and all arounds!

As many of you know from your own experience, changing your life is HARD.  And not like man I stayed up too late and have to get up early hard, but like zombies are chasing me and I haven't worked out a day in my life hard.  I always start the day with AMAZING intention, drink my shake have a healthy snack, either have shake or a salad for lunch, but then the late afternoon munchies sneak their way in and making healthy choices becomes harder and harder.  Especially when the kids come home and are ready for snacks next thing you know a couple bites turn into a handful turn into a bowl.  SHEESH  put the food down already, dinner is in the crock-pot and only two hours away! Just hang on for dear life!  I fail most days between 3-5 at keeping things in check. 

 And then the golden hour comes and the kids go to bed and we deserve some peace and quit and a kids free snack, you know that one that you have been hiding up high and out of sight because it's yours and not theirs and you don't want to share.  You know you have a hiding place! It's getting late and you know you really shouldn't eat but the stash is calling your name! Failure again.... And you go to bed ready with full intention on creating another amazing day. 

            So here is what you take from days like mine.  You aren't a perfect being none of us are.  You will have days where you have your cake and binge on it too.  Days where we feel so low that you don't think you will ever get to where you need to go.  But then there will be moments or days or weeks where you were flawless you ate right you exercised and you saw the inches and pounds melt away!  Both these can occur on a single day.  Just remember it's a marathon not a sprint and you just need to cross the finish line. So maybe you snack when the kids do, snack on an apple or carrots or drink a glass of water and see where you stand with hunger.  Remember the road is long and bumpy hold on for the ride! 

Weekends and Weight gain

Weekends, the time to get stuff done and also relax.  That is what most people see it as, I see it as an excuse to deviate from my healthy lifestyle. All progress during the week is usually sabotaged on the weekend. With donuts in the morning out to eat for lunch and a dinner for kings. Let's not forget our outing to the movies, or the mall where I am suckered into movie popcorn candy and sodas or the food court out of convenience. Every time I make head way during the week I sabotage myself on the weekends by eating far too much junk. Barry Popkin, PhD, co-author of a study on weekend weight gain said, Americans ages 19-50 consume and average of 115 more calories a day on the weekend. Added up over the year that is 17,940 or about 5 extra lbs. My goal from now on is to find ways to be more active on the weekends and avoid the trap of easy food that has way more calories that my delicious shakes that are healthier, more filling and easier to fix, eat, and clean up. 

Welcome to Montana Life!

My name is Jena, Welcome to my page! I moved to Montana 25 years ago I was 7 years old.  This is home, the land that I love I am surrounded by beautiful mountains, roaring rivers, and amazing trails to adventure on.  

I have an amazing family with 4 beautiful kids and a unfailing supportive husband who always cheers me on.  
                    I see my friends post daily there adventures they are having in our incredibly unique amazing landscape.  Fishing, hiking, biking, rafting, hunting, horseback riding, skiing, they are all right at our fingertips minutes from my front door.  I however being a Montanan, have rarely if ever participated in these activities.  Why because I am a food addict.  
                Yep,  I said it, I like to eat, ALL THE TIME!  I think about food more than anyone ever really should! Today I am taking my life back, I am going to blog myself thin with the help of Isagenix this obese Montana girl is going to get fit and explore the amazing world that is right outside her door!  Join me though my journey, cheer me on in my struggles, realize you are not alone and watch me change my life get healthy and shrink in size right before your eyes!